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I'm not usually one for New Year's resolutions, but this year I have a small list of things I would like to work on in 2013.
In no particular order:
1. Focus more on friends and family
I sometimes let my asshole pucker a little too tight and put all of my energy into work and finances, rather than try to maintain a balance. I need to remind myself that not everything needs to be stressful??
On that note...
2. Work on my anxiety
I am like hella anxious, and I always have been. I think I need to really start cracking down and getting my introspection on beccaaauuse there are some things from my childhood I still need to get past oops!!!
My own insecurities have been a fascinating topic to me recently so probably expect art based around those in the next little while.
3. Don't be such a shitty vegan
I've only been doing it for about two months but I feel really great when I don't regularly cheat on my meal plan. I have more energy and I feel as though I can focus more easily, which is a miracle considering I have horrible ADD wow
4. Actually draw something once in a while
This includes working on projects, collaborations and adding to my portfolio. I feel like I let a lot of people down in 2012 because I couldn't focus for most of the year ( see: Resolution #3 ). Instead of sitting around waiting for motivation, I'm going to motivate myself.
2012 was a good year for me. A lot of unexpected things happened that really just slapped me in the face, which I really needed. I was too deeply embedded in my comfort zone and I expected far too much stability for the routes I chose to take ( summer of 2012 comes to mind especially ).
I lost a fair amount of friends and family members this year.
Some due to conflict. Looking back, they were only bringing negativity to my life and I made more progress without them than I would have if I fought to stay in a toxic relationship with these people.
Some due to the natural order of things. Most of my experiences involving death have been from... another perspective. But before 2012, never had I watched a person - a person I care for deeply and was close to - leave us.
I also formed some great relationships, built upon old relationships and rebuilt bridges that, for the most part, had been burned down.
I met the love of my life. Many of my old friends helped me through a lot, and I love them all. And for the first time in years, I feel like I have a family again.
I grew up this year. I was greatly humbled. And I look forward to 2013.
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But in all seriousness, I pretty much went through the same thing. Lost a lot of friends and family, a lot of it due to my own self-induced stress issues stemming from childhood insecurities.
I expected way too much from life. I expected too much stability, and couldn't cope with the unexpected. Also a lot of toxic relationships that held me back and refused to let me grow up on my own. Very similar situation as yours.
Long story short, I hit rock bottom and went to a therapist. Diagnosed with OCD, social anxiety, and possibly some form of manic-depression. Two months later, I'm almost 99% fully cured. I went from not being able to make small eye contact, to being able to cold approach strangers with a smile.
My therapist said she's never seen anyone make such a huge jump before. She said I could probably teach her a thing or two about psychotherapy.
If you ever need to talk, or are curious about the secrets to how I grew out of my insecurities so fast, just message me. It takes a little bit more effort than just TELLING yourself to do stuff, because that doesn't change the mindset that keep you in the rut in the first place. Trust me, I know.
This may seem out of nowhere, but you're one of my favorite artists on DA, no joke. I might have never vocalized it in the past, but that's due to my own fears and insecurities (which have significantly faded now) which prevented me from talking to most people.
Anywho, take care, and keep on drawing! You are consistently amazing with your work. I love your style.